Monday, May 01, 2006

Jesus Christ, Super(Political)Star, Illegal Immigrant?

In the previous issue we started discussing where we stand on the hot issue of Illegal Immigration.

I cannot stand the shameful way our politicians from all sides are shamelessly selling out our country, its future, its interests, and its social stability just to court the votes of certain ethnic groups, supporting their illegal immigrants. This includes Republicans and Democrats, and it includes George Bush and Hillary Clinton. The one thing they all have in common is their desire to pander to special interests, and to sell out our interests as a nation, as long as they can get some extra votes.

Our “security” driven President, George W. Bush says that because there are 11 million illegal people in this country, we cannot do anything about it. What kind of message does that send?

It says, to the NEXT 11 million illegal immigrants, come right in, because once we have 22 million illegals we can do even less to stop you. And, with the NEXT 11 million that come in after that, you can easily tell us legal immigrants and native born Americans to get out of here … and move to Canada.

Hillary Clinton, not to be outdone by George Bush’s direct satellite connection to Jesus Christ, tried to kill THREE birds with one stone. She got to bash Bush, pander to the illegals even more, and also try to appeal to religious people by saying that under the new proposed laws, even Jesus would go to jail.

You know what? Like all my fellow Muslims, I respect and revere Jesus Christ as a Holy Prophet, but, to Hillary Clinton, I say, “So what?”

Let us assume that Jesus Christ decides this May Day to leave his home in the sky and land on Earth.

Let us also assume that instead of going to Africa to cure AIDS stricken orphans, or to the Middle-East to bring a thousand year peace, he says, you know what, a lot of Jewish people and immigrants go to America. America is where the action is, that’s where the Televangelists make a lot of money, and fool a lot of people. That’s where a President claims to speak to me and starts wars… THAT is where I am going.

The irony is that if Jesus was trying to come to the USA from Occupied Jerusalem on a Palestinian passport, we would keep him waiting 10 or 20 years - while gang members, drug smugglers and uneducated, unskilled, people by the million could just hop our border with Mexico or float in from Cuba… no questions asked.

So, ironically, for Jesus to come to American immediately, he would have to break the law --- because we like to reward people who break the rules and punish or delay those who follow the rules!

That means Jesus would have to walk across the Mexican border, just like so many other illegal immigrants.

That makes me wonder. Let’s say he walks into the United States from Mexico, and someone gives him some help, some food, and also a handheld GPS to find his way around. Knowing Jesus, you’d figure he will look at the GPS map to see where the most Churches are to be found… and, the GPS would show, Las Vegas! Wouldn’t it be ironic he would march straight to Las Vegas and then see what that city was all about…. Would he stay or would he walk straight back to Mexico? I wonder.

Or, if Jesus did not want to come via Mexico because he can speak Hebrew but not Spanish, knowing Jesus’ skills with walking on water… I think the best approach for him would be walk over from Cuba; especially with the DUMB and STUPID “wet foot – dry foot” policy we have for Cubans who illegally come here. Jesus would not even have to deal with that wet foot dry foot hassle, since he would surely be dry-foot all the way.

He could just walk on over into Miami. Of course, if he hits Miami’s South Beach with all those topless women parading about, I wonder if Jesus Christ would say, “Jesus Christ!”

Anyway, I digress. Getting back to Hillary Clinton invoking Jesus Christ’s name….

I am sorry, Hillary. Just because your husband and you do not much care for the practice of law in your business practices, sworn testimonies and personal lives, despite being lawyers, and just because you would like to imagine Jesus Christ coming to America and immediately announcing “Prophets For Hillary” endorsing your campaign….

Somehow I don’t think the first thing Jesus will do is line up to break our laws.

And, it does make me wonder…. With our traditional separation of Church and State, what would we do?

If Jesus was caught speeding on his way to Church, wouldn’t our traffic cops give him a ticket?

If he did not pay taxes, wouldn’t the IRS go after him?

And, most importantly, if he had an email address like, would spammers not send him emails about Nigerian fraud, fake Rolex watches, breast enlargements and Viagra? What do you think?
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