Friday, April 28, 2006

Immigrant Tells Immigrants To.... Get Lost!?

I am an immigrant. And proud of it. I came to the United States in 1987, on a visit to New York and Canada around Christmas of that year. Many people at that time told me that it was so rare for a single young male to get a visitor visa, I should not return. Of course, many of those people telling me that were here illegally, and living in apartments in Brooklyn and Queens, 10-12 people piled on top of each other.

I respected them for being hard working people, and trying to make a living, and being so hospitable. But, I found I disturbing that they found nothing wrong with breaking the laws of this land, where they came to make money. I refused their suggestions, and went back before my visa expired.

It was so amazing, almost a matter of fate, that on my return to Pakistan I found papers and scholarship information, that enabled me to literally come back to the United States, legally, and not only attend Columbia University in the heart of New York City, and get an MBA, but also to start a media and technology business here.

A few years later, after fulfilling my requirements, I also legally became a US Citizen. I am proud of my Pakistani heritage, and I am proud of being a Muslim, and I am proud of being an American. And, as I said, I am proud of being an immigrant.

Living in New York, which has such a large population of immigrants, legal and illegal, you would expect me to be pro-immigrant on everything. I find that wrong and foolish.

I am all for legal immigration. I am all for this country, MY country, the United States, being a shining beacon of hope for people around the world. I am all for people around the world, the best, the brightest, the hardest working, the socially responsible, to come here and to contribute to this great nation, its society and improve their lives too.

I am all for American PICKING and CHOOSING the best of the best, that IT needs, that will make OUR society better, who will make OUR future brighter. I want America to have an immigration policy that helps it become even greater, smarter, harder working, more capable, and more prepared for the intensely competitive global marketplace that is upon us.

Instead, we are going the opposite way. Doctors from Pakistan, engineers from India, techies from Russia, nurses from the Philippines, physical therapists from Poland all have to wait for years, if not decades, to be able to come here. So, we make people wait for YEARS even though they can become active, productive, revenue generating, service providing, tax-paying members of society from Day One.

Yet, we turn a blind eye to people who can simply jump over a fence, crawl over a border, with no skills, no education, no desire to learn our language, no plan to pay taxes or enhance our future. On top of that we have to listen to these people march through OUR streets burning OUR flag threatening OUR economy if we do not give them legal status.
Not only do we turn a blind eye, we actually COURT these people, we actually pander to them, we actually show them our politicians are afraid of them.

This is not about just criticizing Mexicans or Cubans or any particular group. I cannot stand the way some people seem to think that America has some sort of responsibility to accept every Tom, Dick, Harry, Jose, Amadu, Ali, Kumar, Chang or Yuri who wants to come here.

I cannot accept MY country as being the one that has to foot the bill for everyone who cannot find a job in their home country to head off to the United States, enter it illegally and then go on welfare, become a criminal, turn cities into ghettoes and not even learn the damned language.

So, to all those illegals out there. Listen up. Let’s be clear on one thing.

You ARE here ILLEGALLY. Many of you are stealing jobs from American workers because you will do them at lower wages than Americans can afford to do them and still remain in the middle class. Many of you do not even bother to learn the language, and you give us attitude if we do not speak to you in Spanish, especially in places like Miami.

If you are planning a march to cripple our economy on May 1, we Americans will make sure every Immigration agent is standing there to thank you for making it convenient to arrest and deport you. Get in line, and follow the rules. Then you are welcome here, to live here and live the American dream, as Americans, not parasites.

What do you think? If you said, "Jesus Christ!" then click to read 'Jesus Christ Super(Political)Star, Illegal Immigrant?'.

My Days At Columbia University Business & Journalism Schools

Today I got an emailed newsletter from Columbia University, asking for anecdotes and stories about alumni's and others' experiences at Columbia.

I had a lot to do today --- and if there is one thing I can focus on, it's procrastination. So, I set aside everything that is important, like taxes, a legal matter, a patent application, a new article to write and today's radio commentary to prepare... and wrote out a note to the Columbia folks. Like everything else, I wrote it as it is, my opinion, not glossed over, nor simply attacking. Enjoy!

Ironically, two aspects of my Columbia experience turned out to the opposite of what I had expected. And, there are two aspects of how Columbia changed me, or not!

I went on to change the world, in my own way, by founding the Internet -- in Pakistan. (Sorry, Al Gore!). Yes, I pioneered and established the first internet service provider in a developing nation with my own non-existent resources, with no government or private sector help, and also co-founded the top level domain, .PK, for Pakistan --- all no thanks to Columbia! Read on!

When I came to Columbia Business School, it had been ranked 13th (ouch) in the BusinessWeek cover story - I believe Journalism School was ranked #1 that year.

But, after two years at Business School, I was thrilled that the school was MUCH better than I expected. Almost 80% professors were better than I expected, 10% were GREATER than I expected (Kathy Harrigan and James Hulbert to name two) and 10% were... well, let's skip talking about them.

In the first five minutes of Prof. Hulbert's "Baby Marketing" class, I had a moment of clarity, and realized, I had been a marketer all my life and didn't even know it! :-) And, for someone who hates "Sales" and always equated Marketing to Sales, I fell in LOVE with Marketing - which became the center of all my 4 concentrations. (I was fortunate to have a full international scholarship, so I could take the liberty of taking courses non-stop, for 7-8 semesters, including summers).

It took longer than 5 minutes to fall in love with Prof. Harrigan as a teacher :-) , but, with her stellar reputation that I had heard, I had quite expected her to maybe live up to it, maybe not. She exceeded my expectations. For someone who had one of the courses requiring the most work, but had a waiting list, I applied for, and was fortunate to get her in TWO courses - in one semester! Talk about suffering a crushing load - but loving every minute of it. Since my work experience had been in a newspaper chain in Pakistan, that was close to a virtual monopoly, these courses helped me get a much better appreciation of things like competitive strategy. The best teachers at Columbia did not give me any answers - they taught me better what questions to ask. Thank you, Professor Harrigan, Professor Hulbert, Professor Sexton and others.

There were two or three courses for which I still think I should ask for my money back --- had I been the one paying for the courses. One was a Professor who, instead of teaching Statistics, taught us how to use the HP12C calculator. I swear, USING THAT is what he based the course on. I almost FLUNKED that course, because my Dad visiting NY bought me an HP 15 or 18 or 20 or some such model of calculator, where there was a slight difference in the buttons. Since the course told you WHAT buttons to press, I was getting answers that were, shall we say, astronomically deviant from the standard. Now, as you can see, from this, and other, sentences, and paragraphs, that I kinda, sorta, know how to use punctuation :-) . But there was this one Marketing Planning or some such course that the professor's only input on my submission was marking off paragraph breaks and commas. NOTHING was learnt in that course. Fortunately, the great teachers I had in other courses made sure Columbia Business School was a great experience for me.

The student body was far nicer than I expected - and the opposite of what BusinessWeek had described. Maybe they were all also smarting from that survey and being better people than previous classes' students had been. Additionally, having started in the January 1989 class, I can safely say that you are more likely to make lifelong friends in the smaller group that starts in January, than the much larger class in September. The students were smart, professional, intelligent, and made you feel proud to be a group that great. I learnt from the faculty and from my fellow students.

On the other hand, my biggest disappointment was in the courses I took at the Journalism School.

I am sure my few courses there did NOT reflect on the entire curriculum, faculty or student body. But, in the courses I took there, my fellow students, looked, and behaved, like high school dropouts. They would saunter into ongoing classes, plop themselves down with the expression of ennui, that only sees on the faces of 'oh-I-hate-being-so-special-and-rich' models purveying Ralph Lauren preppy-ware in the inside-covers of glossy magazines.

Perhaps I was just unlucky in what teachers I got there. I had a great gentleman teacher, a publisher of a newspaper, give a course that was quite boring and in which I literally learnt very little, but learning from him, about real life was somewhat useful. Though most students in that course did not much seem to care. They appeared to know they were all going to get great jobs because they were coming out of the #1 ranked J-school.

But, even worse, was the course, taught by a lady who was formerly publisher of a well known magazine. The course in media management or something like that required a paper at the end of the term. Much that I would like to think I am brilliant (don't you think so? :-) ) I had expected serious critiques and suggestions/improvements to my "thesis" in that course. Instead, I got a paper marked out with 10-12 commas or semi-colons. I did not realize media management was that easy. No wonder so many magazines are suffering today.

This is not to say that this was wholly representative of the whole school and student body at the Journalism school, from where I met, and became friends with other graduates who are great professionals and intelligent, exciting people. It's just that my experience at #13 ranked B-school was light years ahead of what I saw at #1 ranked J-school!

Now, B-school was NOT perfect either. As I said earlier, I changed the world - no thanks to Columbia, or at least one particular part of it.

The worst part of the experience there was, and there is no delicate way to put it, the clueless management of the computer lab at the Business School, while they carried a haughty air that could have lifted the Hindenberg.

Yes, these are the people who swore by the worst-in-breed HP desktop machines (whose floppy drives could NOT read disks that had been formatted on any other BRAND of PC!) and had a Novell network, that was novel only in how frequently it was "down". These, bozos, I mean, geniuses, also LAUGHED when I went in there asking for an email account in January 1989! They actually LAUGHED, saying that email was for the nerds at engineering school, and not a business tool. Doh!

Columbia Computing was not much more visionary than that. As the records will indicate, I was the student from Business who had to pay $35 every semester out of my own pocket to have my email address ( ) while engineering students had them free. Talk about these people having no vision, and no understanding of where computers and email were headed. I had been in the USA less than a month and knew I could not live without email as a tool. They thought it was a toy or a nerd's accessory.

So, by their stone-age thinking, and we-know-better attitude, these people (whom I hope have long departed CU) did their best to turn me away from email ----

Fortunately, I was too stubborn. My (copyrighted :-) ) mottos in life are "If Anyone Can, 'I' Can" and "Change The World, Bit By Bit, Byte By Byte™"...

Not only did I get my own email address, I went on over the next 2 years to establish email for Pakistan - a country of 150 Million people with millions now on the Internet, no thanks to Columbia and B-school Computing managers.

But, fortunately, as a "serial entrepreneur" (whatever that means!), every day, I use critical thinking that my favorite Columbia professors taught me. Thank you, and God Bless You.


Wednesday, April 26, 2006

War, Films, And The Oscar Goes To...

Admit it. You’ve looked in the mirror and said to yourself, "I really should be in the movies."

Of course, not all of us can get to enjoy that glamorous life, or to enjoy their wealth, fame, fast cars, expensive toys, fancy parties and of course scandals, that movie stars enjoy.

For me, being a Pakistani-born American, the chance of competing directly with Tom Cruise as a mega star is just Mission Impossible. So, what can I do?

Just like everyone else, full of daydreams and a PhD in building castles in the air, I dream of writing incredibly powerful novels or movie scripts. Of course, that leads to the challenge of coming up with some good ideas.

You need colorful characters, weird characters, entertaining characters, characters who can help us lose touch with reality, make us believe what we are seeing on screen is real even though it is all one big lie someone made up.

Where would any of us find such a source of inspiration? Most of us do not have imaginations THAT powerful…. And that is when I realized, where I can get those ideas.

The White House!

Our own government, and politicians, Congress and opposition, Republicans and Democrats, are so much more full of acting and unreal ideas than any movie can be. And, unlike any movie like Rambo or Mission Impossible, where you can run out of themes and ideas… you can never run out of new twists from Washington!

All you have to do is read a newspaper – unless you are the President of the United States, of course. In that case, you get your news directly from God through speaking to Jesus Christ.

Anyway, Just reading the latest news headlines has me thinking of so many angles, so many plots, so many sequels… I am positively excited!

We have seen on the Internet already many spoof posters of STAR WARS showing Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rice in front of IRAQ WARS. I have often joked about President Bush kissing and hugging the King of Saudi Arabia at Brokeback Ranch in Crawford Texas.

But, the real stuff is even more exciting.

These days audiences want so much in a movie. They want action, as we have in Iraq. They want drama, as we have in the White House. They want sex,… well, that would be against family values, unless it’s a department of homeland security boss seducing 13 year old girls.

People want good guys and bad guys, they need a good looking white hero like Bush, they gotta have an obligatory black person in the role of sidekick, like Colin Powerll of Condi Rice, and must have at least one strong woman, either with or against the hero, which Hilary Clinton would love to play.

They need an ugly villain, usually an Arab if you cannot find a generic East-European thug type look, and Bin Laden already took the part.

You need lots of explosions, body parts flying around, cars blowing up, threats, tough language and so much more and Iraq provides that to use every day.

Think of the ideas that come to mind from the headlines I am looking at just now.

Thanks to Bush’s threats against Iran we now have the Iranian Ayatollah, not just their nutjob President, threatening the USA directly. So, Instead of Cowboys and Indians movies, we can have George Bush star in a movie about Cowboys and Iranians.

Rice and Rusmfeld can star in Rice & Rumsfeld’s Excellent Adventure as they visit Iraq. Silent Hill about Hilary not speaking out about the war in Iraq. Scary Movie 4 would come out if Laura Bush or Condi Rice run for President. Bush’s sinking popularity could be inspiration for Poseiden 2. Bush’s global warming policy would, of course, be Ice Age 2, The Meltdown. Hopefully, soon this President’s term will be over and they will all be X-Men.

In Hollywood, you need actors who are moving from movies to real life like the recently resigning White House staff, like Scott Mclellan and Andrew Card, and some moving from TV to movies - like Fox News Channels fair and balanced Tony Snow now going to work at the White House.

You need actors with quick fingers who can shoot guns, like Dick Cheney. I mean, the list goes on…

And it would be all so much fun, even a comedy,… if only the body count in the illegal war in Iraq was not so real, and such a tragedy.

Our government has made up such good stories, scripted so many lies, twisted the plot so many times, presented us with so many false special effects, making so many people believe that what they hear from the government is real, just like a good movie does…. and, like in the song Stairway To Heaven, it makes me wonder,…

Can Bush and his team win an Academy Award for Best Acting, Best Script, Best Explosions, Best Twists and Turns… but, Worst True Movie in the history of the United States. What do you think?

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Bin Laden Breathes, Berates US; Bush Bumbles

I have been writing about this for ages. And everyone with a brain and intelligemce has been saying it even louder than me... Bush has taken us so far on the wrong track, we'll be lucky to come out on the same continent, much less our actual destination.

Here's Bin Laden again, still alive, and apparently still able to make and send out recordings at will. His latest one is actually a demonstration of how well placed he is. The subject of the tape is the very recent set of events, the Hamas election in Palestine and the Israeli/American response to it.

In Bin Laden's latest tape supposedly out today, he is telling us WE are still under threat.... instead of HIM being on the run and afraid, he breathes on, berates us, and Bush bumbles around in Iraq and now Iran...

Bush makes the world safer...? For Bin Laden?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Parallel (Universe) Parking

Growing up in Pakistan, I remember reading science fiction as well as some science books about time travel and more interestingly about the possibility of parallel universes. Of course, even then I knew it was next to impossible to prove the existence of any such parallel universe. But I knew that if any place in the world could prove it, it would be America.

Little did I know how right I was and would see proof of it within my lifetime, in 2006, in America.

The only problem is that the concept of parallel universes does not get proven in the halls of Columbia University or MIT, or Stanford or some huge underground lab. Instead, the parallel universes are shown to exist from the White House, in Washington, DC, or maybe some undisclosed location where Dick Cheney sits and Ms. Darth Vader, Condoleeza Rice marches.

The whole world sees a planet and a world at great risk, but our President seems to see a world getting better every day from his Rose Garden colored glasses.

Iraq has become the local equivalent of a Black Hole, and President Bush sees it as a Shining Star. North Korea is positively radiating nuclear threats, our President sees a glowing need for dialog. Our pockets are on fire fueled by gas at $4.50 per GALLON today, but Dick Cheney and Bush will not shed light on the secret meetings this administration had with people from Enron and oil companies that are killing us.

In this parallel universe we are told that oil prices are going up around the world and our oil companies are merely passing along the costs to the consumers. Really? Then how did Exxon-Mobil make the largest annual corporate profit in history? They made $36 BILLION in PROFITS.

They just paid their leaving CEO a retirement package of $400 MILLION. That is the equivalent of almost $150,000 for every DAY he worked there.

Now, you all know how opposed I am to the Iraq war. And, I cannot stand those right-wing neo-cons and war-mongers who cheer on the war in Iraq but did not ever serve in the military. They found every excuse to get out of active service in war-time they could come up with. This includes our President and our Vice President as well as many of the biggest TV and radio journalists, supporting the war, and wanting us to keep our soldiers getting killed there. In the meantime, this is a parallel universe. They and their children did not serve this country but they say anyone against the war in Iraq is not a patriot and not supportive of our troops.

I was shocked, and ashamed, to learn that what President Bush’ oil company friends paid the Exxon CEO in RETIREMENT money PER DAY, $144,000, is about the amount that we pay the family of fallen soldiers. In other words, this CEO of a company that is shafting American consumers and trying to wipe out our economy makes in ONE DAY - what an American soldier’s family is given for that soldier giving his LIFE to this country.

Shame on those who want our soldiers to die… for Exxon and Haliburton to profit from soldiers’ blood. And Shame on us for not speaking up, for not defending the lives of our brave soldiers, who unquestioningly serve with honor and pay with their lives. They expect US to be the ones to speak out for them. They need US to be the ones to keep our power hungry, crooked, greedy, corrupt, incompetent and evil rulers from sending them to their deaths for personal profits.

We are failing. We are failing our soldiers. We are failing our nation. We are failing our constitution. We are failing our future and we are failing ourselves. Every day that we do not speak up, every day that we allow this administration, and its incompetent leaders to remain in power, unchecked, unquestioned, unchallenged, is an extra day our nation will suffer the consequences for decades to come. Our soldiers suffer today. Their families suffer today and forever. Our economy suffers and our children will suffer, from our continuing to walk around in our daily lives with our blinders on, assuming it is not our problem, it is not our issue, it is not something we have control over.

Mark my words, if you and I, WE, as a nation do not take action, do not even speak up, YOUR children, OUR children, will pay the price. They will be called to serve in wars that only serve to enrich some companies friendly with our Presidents and Vice Presidents. They will be called to their deaths to fight illegal wars. They will pay with their lives while you and I pay with our wallets.

And that will not be in some parallel universe that does not effect you. It will be here, now, around you, around us….. so, speak up, take action. If you can't impeach Bush then at least call your congressman, to defend this country from its own incompetent leaders.

You owe it to your country, you owe it to our soldiers, you owe it to your children, and you owe it to yourself.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

ABC (TV) vs. ABC (GOV) - Rating The "Commander In Chief"s

What better topic for me to write about and for you to listen on the radio than TV!

The reason I say that was a whole bunch of TV related news items that caught my eye. It seems there are many political and social angles to everything on TV these days. Here’s what I mean.

It is funny how aggressive the supposedly fair and unbiased FBI was in only rounding up and deporting Muslims in the last four years, while other illegals can march around burning American flags. Well, that FBI is now seeking Muslim communities cooperation, by doing town hall style meetings on TV. They want to engage Muslims in America to expose terrorists among them. That is so smart. I cannot imagine a better way for Muslims to give out names of fellow Muslims they suspect of being terrorists or Alqaeda agents than going on national TV. I like it. Very subtle and sure to succeed.

Then there is a news item that the actress who plays that gothic looking character of Elvira is pitching a reality series to television companies about her search for a replacement to play that role in the years to come.

Here is my idea and you will love it. We have an administration pushing family values, we have our tax payer money going to bribe Arab journalists to print good lies about Bush and his attack on Iraq. The FBI that worked overtime to deport Muslims is now trying to engage Muslims while Elvira is trying to promote her character.

Why not make Elvira the character into a family based show, sort of like the Addams Family. Maybe call it Elvira and Elvirus where Elvira plays some sort of witch who falls in love with an Arab Muslim mad scientist Elvirus who is interested in weapons of mass destruction! And, they fall in love and instead he helps kill all Alqaeda people with a special virus he makes.

Think about it. It will save Elvira the character but kill Alqaeda cockroaches. It will bring Muslims closer to Americans and promote family values. Of course President Bush’s name will be in the credits – under Mission Accomplished.

If Elvira does not like this idea then my question is, why look for actors? Why not do a reality show about people who do this kind of stuff in reality? I mean, when I saw Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice at a recent event wearing, what looked like a used Darth Vader costume, it got me thinking. She would make a great Elvira because with Donald Rumsfeld she has great experience playing voodoo with the Geneva conventions, making prisoners disappear, making up facts and running houses of horror in Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib.

I just saw in passing a news item saying the TV show with Geena Davis playing Commander in Chief, a woman President, had low ratings this season on the ABC network. That show was beaten out by Without A Trace, which, my guess is, must be a show about the hunt for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq!

Here's my guess as to why Commander in Chief is fizzling on television. ABC TV can't even begin to match what the government version of ABC (Amazing Bush Circus) can provide in entertainment value.

How can ANY TV show, heck how can any TV NETWORK match the entertainment of watching Bush mismanage and diss/govern our rights/nation...

They offer everything.... Action (in Iraq), Drama (in White House), Court TV (in the Scooter Libby trial), Girls Gone Wild (with the Bush twins getting drunk), Religion (when Bush talks to Jesus before attacking Iraq), Simple Life (when President Bush hugs and kisses the Saudi King at Brokeback Ranch in Crawford Texas), Sports (with Bush playing Golf), Outdoors (with Dick Cheney shooting friends), Comedy (which is anytime Bush just opens his mouth to speak!)...

And no need to pay $49 a month... just $15000 per person of our taxpayer money per year, money being burnt in Iraq, covers everything. It's a great deal - if you are Haliburton and a friend of Bush/Cheney. And, if you call right now, we’ll also throw in $36 BILLION in profits for one oil company – and you only have to pay $3 per gallon. Call now, neo-cons are standing by!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Do The Right Thing

I remember a Spike Lee movie called Do The Right Thing. I do not recall watching the movie, but I sure wish our President would know the title words from the movie, do the right thing. Unfortunately, we have the opposite problem. Not only is our government repeatedly failing to do the right things, it is going full speed doing the wrong things.

I am reminded of a saying I had heard. I think it was Yogi Berra who best described it when he said, “We’re lost but we’re making good time.”

That is what we have going on in Washington.

Bush says he cannot recall making a mistake. Condoleeza Rice one day admits to THOUSANDS of mistakes in Iraq. Rumsfeld talks to Bush, next day Condi Rice say, oh, I meant that figuratively speaking. Really?

Now we have a DAILY parade of American Army GENERALS who are pointing out how Donald Rumsfeld mismanaged everything.

The inept so-called Secretary of Defense has watched over us getting stuck in two different inhospitable places, Afghanistan and Iraq. We are there supposedly to get the guys who killed 3000 Americans on 9/11, including the Pentagon, while Rumsfeld was probably sitting having coffee in his office.

It was on his and Bush’s watch that terrorists were driving around in the USA prior to 9/11 and nothing was done. Bush was informed before 9/11 of such a possibility, nothing was done. 3000 Americans were killed by Bin Laden, nothing was done to focus and at least get that one man.Instead, under Bush, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld and this gang of incompetent people, US troops are STILL in Afghanistan. Cost $1 BILLION Per month. Americans still dying. Heroin production up. More of it heading our way.We attack IRAQ, no relation to Bin Laden. Cost $5 BILLION Per month.2400 more Americans dead. More Americans killed there in 2 weeks of April than all of March. Civil war on the way.North Korea makes nuclear weapons while Bush wrings his hands and his oil friends wring our necks with $36 BILLION profits and nothing's done.

Now Iran had a choice. Be like Iraq, do nothing, have no weapons, and be attacked, or be like North Korea, and make the bomb. Guess what they chose to do.... ?

Not only do they elect a psycho President, almost just like we did, he also boasts he can wipe Israel off the map AND has stood up to the world in refusing to stop making nukes.

It is on George W. Bush’s watch that we were attacked by AlQaeda, started the wrong war, more and more our jobs were outsourced, and, for a so-called Security President, he is awarding MORE nuclear technology to India, while India’s friend Iran and North Korea both become nuclear powers.They all know that the US can't send in troops and start a 3rd World War from that region and that the US does NOT have enough troops or patience in the American public for such a stunt.The US can't just bomb the place either. We would see a Pandora's Box of terrorism explode worldwide AND we would see the oil price shock wipe out our economic recovery. Keep in mind that long term interest rates also went up, meaning you and I will have to start paying more for loans and mortgages. That means housing prices that have kept the economy going will no longer be the economic engine we have been using them as.

Big companies are still not done laying off people. GM and Ford are not done losing money. AlQaeda is not done planning attacks on us.  So, Bin Laden must be sitting laughing in his cave. As I’ve said before, Bush makes the world so much safer - for Bin Laden.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Death Penalty Taxes Bleeding Hearts. Or "Kill(ing) Me Softly...."?

These days, life is so full of.... death.

Muslims around the world are chanting death to America, and the Bush government is dishing out death to a whole country of Iraq and its population. Now Iran is on the death list of Bush. Iran says Death to Israel. Israel says Death to Hamas. Hamas and Alqaeda spread death from Palestine to Pakistan.

Even April 15, Tax Day, reminds us that death and taxes are all around us. People are crying listening to the recordings of people who died on September 11, 2001 and others are fighting over putting Zacharias Moussavi to death because he came to America to kill Americans..

We have deaths on the road, deaths in the home, and in schools, deaths on the street and even deaths in clubs and workplaces when nutjobs kill others before killing themselves.

Now, we have the case of that low life bouncer named Littlejohn who murdered a young girl he met at a bar, tortured, brutalized and literally gave her the most painful death he could imagine, but today's newspaper headlines are discussing how the death penalty for murderers like him and others is "cruel and unusual" punishment.

Frankly, this sickens me. That some people can be opposed to the death penalty for murderers like Littlejohn is so amazing, while these same people continue to go about their daily lives without batting an eyelid when people like him are murdering innocent victims. They do not bother to even raise a voice against the illegal wars started by our government and they have nothing to say when hundreds of thousands of Iraqis are killed in bombings and subsequent violence caused by Bush policies. But, talk about putting low life garbage, inhuman filth, like Littlejohn or other violent murderers to death and these people start losing sleep, get constipated and their conscience kicks into overdrive. Amazing, simply amazing.

It is unbelievable that there is now a debate going on about death by lethal injection as being cruel and unusual.

In reality, I love life, but I am so pro-death penalty for violent criminals and murderers you would think I was born in Texas. But I had always been opposed to death by lethal injection. It is unusual definitely, because we have a socitety more worried about how an evil, son of Satan, child killer or girl raping and killing, monster feels when he dies than about the pain, the suffering, the agony, the horror that these animals put their innocent victims through. That is why I also think lethal injection is cruel.. it is a cruel JOKE against the sense of justice, the pain and suffering of the poor murder victims.

In my humble opinion, the day someone decides to take another human life, in a wanton act of violence, rage, premeditated murder, during a crime, or otherwise, they give up their rights to life. And, they give up the right to be cry babies about feeling pain of an injection when in fact they had no problem cutting, stabbing, slashing, raping, sodomizing, beating, pummeling and slowly and painfully killing their victims.

Instead of these stupid debates about cruel and unusual punishments, we need to give these evil animals some simple choices. You killed someone in a violent and painful way. You have lost your right to live. You will be put to death. Here are your choices. You will be killed in exactly the same manner as you killed your victim, so you can feel what they felt.

Or, you will be put in an electric chair, maybe we will throw some water and gasoline to cool you down and then throw the switch, so you get a preview of the Hell you are going to. Or, we will give you a lethal injection.

I can bet you that in every single case, the biggest, most violent, most audacious, most unrepentant criminal will ask, no will beg to be given the lethal injection.

So, folks, enough of this pampering, pandering of people who are PURE evil. Society needs to wake up and see where it is headed. We have lawyers willing to defend the lowest of the low, where they can make excuses for their most violent acts, often blaming the victims and then crying about pain and suffering when it is their time to pay for their evil acts. If someone wants these animals to be kept alive in jail for 50 years at the expense of our tax money, let's make a deal. People opposed to the death penalty are welcome to donate more of their income to keeping murderers alive so the rest of us don't have to.

I think we should make the law very simple. You commit a violent crime and take someone's life, you will be killed in exactly the same manner as you killed your victim. We will hold the execution in a big stadium, and broadcast it on live TV or even better on Pay Per View. It will give you the fame and notoriety you were seeking, it will show other wannabe criminals what fate awaits them if they kill others and that would reduce crime in a big way. Lastly, the revenues from the TV broadcast or pay per view will go as restitution to the families of the victims. THAT, my friends, will be real justice.

But, if we can't have exactly what I want, at least let's kill --- let's kill this stupid idea of pampering murderers.

© 2006-2012 Imran Anwar
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Monday, April 10, 2006

What's In a Name? The Making of "Muslims Gone Wild™"

These days companies spend millions of Dollars to make up new names for their business, service or product. 

Some try to get cute and others make up words that have no meaning. For example, Xerox or Google. Others go even more crazy, making words with missing letters. Motorola's widlly successful RAZR phone is an example of that.

Online companies go even crazier.  There are companies with names like frappr, flickr, and so on.  The problem is that for most such companies, unless they do millions of dollars more in advertising, we consumers have no way of knowing what a company does. Can you tell what names like flickr, frappr, snapfish, zazzle have to do with what the company does? I can't.

In this sea of crazy names it is ironic that one of the best known franchises, one of the best known brand names of recent years has been a company called, Girls Gone Wild. 

Even if you do not know, or WANT to know, what these guys sell, you instantly know what the product is about. They make and sell videos of "nice girls" doing wild things at parties, at the beach, in school, etc. As you can imagine, this is one case where an accurate, catchy, company name can lead to Sales Gone Wild.

So, it may come as a shock to you that I am using this company for inspiration for a new Muslim product line. Since I do not plan to enter the soft porn or nudie pictures business anytime soon, what could I have in mind?

After seeing everything that is going on around the world, things being done by my so-called fellow Muslims, I have decided to start a company to market videos, DVDs, CDs, etc. under a brand new label - "Muslims Gone Wild™!" 
Here is what you can expect.

Girls Gone Wild shows dozens of nice girls wildly dancing, Muslims Gone Wild will show thousands of supposedly moral God-loving Muslims dancing and wildly flailing their arms in anger. Girls Gone Wild shows girls smooching just about everyone, to the tunes of Death To Smoochie. Muslims Gone Wild will show Muslims kissing common sense goodbye, to the tunes of Death to America. 

Girls Gone Wild show it all, Muslims Gone Wild will just blow it all. I expect sales to be hot, especially you see Muslims Gone Wild burning lots of American flags. Girls Gone Wild do not even show burning bras, so my product line has a definite advantage here.

Girls Gone Wild merely includes speakers blowing, mostly loud music. Muslims Gone Wild will show Muslims blowing up churches, synagogues, and even the mosques of fellow Muslims. I expect sales to be quite, well, explosive!

In Girls Gone Wild you see plenty of booze flowing and topless girls dancing to the music of ZZ Top. The comparable version of Muslims Gone Wild will show innocent people's blood flowing, all killed in the name of God, set to the great words of famous rap-sheetsters Bin Laden and ZZ Blow Top.  

Here Z and Z stand for Zawahiri and Zarqawi, my fellow Muslims' major contribution to the social scene in recent years. This version will be rated AQ, for AlQaeda.

I think I am on to something big here. Think about it. There are almost 1.3 BILLION Muslims as a potential audience for my new product line. Girls Gone Wild can only target a small population of mostly male, above 18, American college kids, OK, and maybe some older males too. But, in every sense, Muslims Gone Wild will blow away Girls Gone Wild. I expect the competition to lay down their arms, and give us the shirts off their backs. Maybe their bras too.

I can even see the possibility of Muslims Gone Wild taking over Girls Gone Wild. I feel if Muslims Gone Wild were laid end-to-end with Girls Gone Wild.... well, it would be the best thing for them. You could call it a marriage made in heaven. Or four marriages.

Imagine the global consumer benefits. The merged company could then offer 72 non-virgin girls gone wild, or four wives, to every muslims ready to kill himself or blow his top. They'd be too tired to get up to "Just Blow It".

Though there's no guarantees this would keep Lizzie Grubman off the street, at least other, younger, and prettier, drunken girls will get off the streets... the Muslims will, well, just get off. The beaches will be safer from drunken teens or bombing mujahideen. Even if AlQaeda tries to recruit these Muslims, they will be so busy with keeping the girls, or the four wives, from fighting each other, they won't have time to blow anything up, and the world will finally know a thousand years of peace. 

I now have to sign off and go back to the DVD player to watch some Girls Gone Wild videos.... purely for research of course for Muslims Gone Wild.

You see, I'm not just the President of Muslims Gone Wild, I'm also a customer!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

White House, Dark Knights - The Enemies Within

There is an old African saying that "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you."

I am reminded of this simple fact by reading just current newspapers. Everywhere we look, we are being reminded by our leaders that we have enemies out there. In reality the worst enemies almost all of us have are within us.

The most un-surprising story is the shocking revelation that our own President, George W. Bush not only clearly LIED to us to start a war, he was even actually authorizing Scooter Libby and Dick Cheney to secretly leak CLASSIFIED information to the media, all for the sake of promoting false reasons to go to war in Iraq and to discredit people opposed to the war.

People, this is a serious issue. This is the PRESIDENT of the United States, our so-called Commander in Chief - who of course never actually showed up for combat duty when the nation needed him. His father was HEAD of the CIA. He should know how important it is to keep classified NATIONAL information safe. He is the one who was all bent out of shape when someone merely leaked to us AMERICANS that OUR government was ILLEGALLY tapping our phone calls and email messages.

THAT man is the one who wanted to make a bigger fool out of us by declaring he would not tolerate leaks to the media and would get to the bottom of the leaks that took place.... THAT man, that PRESIDENT, is actually the one who PERSONALLY AUTHORIZED the leaking of CLASSIFIED documents to the PRESS! Just so people could be misled into believing the false reasons he and Dick Cheney were giving to start a war in Iraq that had NOTHING to do with OUR security, nothing to do with 9/11, nothing to do with weapons of mass destruction.

3000 Americans died on 9/11 because a warning to the President about use of aeroplanes by terrorists was ignored on September 10. Now 2400 MORE Americans are dead with no end in sight in Iraq, even according to George W. Bush himself we may be there for years to come.

In the meantime, we are claiming to be fighting to spread freedom around the world but our government is working hard to take away the freedoms that make us AMERICA. Bush and his administration say it is perfectly OK for them to keep ANY American in detention FOREVER even without being charged with committing a crime. They also say it is OK for the government to listen, to tap, international phone conversations of Americans without any Court order.

For those of my fellow Americans who suffer from Ostrich mentalities, the ones who email me and comment on my web site that this only applies to a FEW terror suspects.... I say, get your heads out of the sand. Attorney General Gozales today has declared that it is ALSO OK for the government to now wiretap, to secretly listen, to calls we Americans make to each other WITHIN AMERICA. In other words, our government now has the SAME power over our personal and private lives as the Communists in China, the Fascists in Cuba and North Korea, the Idiotollah™ in Iran, the Taliban in Afghanistan and the KGB in the old Soviet Union had over their citizens.

This is the Bush way of spreading freedom around the world... by taking away ours. And this is just the start. I have been saying this for years, THIS is how tyrannies start. THIS is how DICTATORS establish themselves. This is what is happening here.

We are being told about shadowy enemies like Bin Laden out there, but instead of focussing on finding that one man and his team, we have been led into a never-ending non-specific, war on terror and a dumb, stupid, illegal and bloody war in Iraq. Democrats, Congress, Senators, politicians are all basically quiet, either too afraid or too confused or too lame or too worried about their elections to stand up and save us, save us from our real enemies, the enemies within.

Enemies like Nazism, Fascism, Communism, Terrorism, etc. will all always be defeated by our ideals, our incredible freedoms. The only real enemy we, you my fellow Americans, and I, need to, HAVE to stand up and stop is the enemy within, a group of people leaking our national secrets for its political gain, starting wars for its financial gains, and stealing our RIGHTS, our FREEDOMS, for its power and control... that enemy within is the current administration and its policies.

Just remember the old African saying, When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.

Let me know your thoughts and comments at IMRAN.COM . And Dont miss next week's episode of In My Humble Opinion when we discuss MUSLIMS GONE WILD™. Until then this is Imran Anwar signing off.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

So, How Safe Are YOU Feeling?

It has been four and a half years since America was attacked on 9/11. We have spent hundreds of BILLIONS of Dollars since then, to make the world, and our homeland safer  Here are some latest news items that show us how much progress we have made.

We are fast approaching the number of Americans killed in Iraq to exceed the number of our fellow Americans killed on 9/11. Bin Laden and his people are still planning attacks on us. So, we are not safe from Bin Laden.

The 9/11 victims had no choice, they were killed by AlQaeda and Bin Laden. 2400 Americans died in Iraq because of the WRONG choice, of our government and President George W. Bush. They died just so Hailburton, Dick Cheney's former company, can continue to get no-bid contracts. We don't have time to discuss that even in these no bid contracts, Haliburton deliberately overcharged us, American taxpayers! They even got caught. But, guess what, instead of paying fines or penalties and giving the money back, the Bush Cheney White House paid the bills.  So our wallets are not safe from Haliburton and Cheney.

During this period of time we have seen some of the largest Energy companies like Enron be exposed as crooks. These were companies in bed with Dick Cheney and the White House, their crooked CEOs like "Kenny Boy" personal friends of George Bush, deciding our energy policies in SECRET meetings with Cheney and Bush Company. While these guys were getting rich, their shareholders, employees and retirees were getting shafted with fraud. And the rest of us are paying more at the gas pump than ever before. So, our wallets are not safe from the Cheney-Bush oil buddies and our pensions and stocks are not safe from their Enron type buddies.

Also during this time we have seen large companies allowed to merge anyway they like, laying off literally TENS of THOUSANDS of people, while abusing visas to bring in cheap labor from abroad. So, our jobs are not safe.

The government continues to give contarcts, incentives and tax breaks to companies that make most of their money off us American consumers, have been laying off Americans, hiring people in other countries, yet not paying taxes on their profits by diverting their revenues to offshore shelters. So our financial stability is not safe. 

Bush has turned a historic and incredibly large federal surplus into an unbelievable DEFICIT, basically putting us, our children and our next generations in debt. So our future is not safe.

You would think anyone who has such great achievements would stop right here, or at least admit to making a mistake. But, no, not our government.  We KNOW that terrorists would love to smuggle a nuclear weapon into the United States on a ship. Bush has been focused only on illegally keeping a two-bit crook Jose Padilla in custody without being charged of a crime, but there is no real preparation for a dirty bomb attack on our soil or to protect our ports. So, we are still not safe from a radiological or dirty bomb.

While Americans continue to die, alongside civilian Iraqis, in an illegal war Bush lied to start, North Korea is already threatening to attack us if we take action against them. So, we are not safer from a real nuclear attack.

North Korean nukes are not the only threat heading our way. The government admits not being prepared for an Asian bird flu virus. So, our health is not safe.

Speaking of things in the air, Four and a half years after September 11, despite BILLIONS being spent on airport security, the Transportation Safety Administration senior official declared this week that airport security is pretty much useless because it is so predictable that terrorists will just find a way around it. So, even almost five YEARS after hijacked planes killed 3000 Americans, air travel is no safer.

And, don't think that this is the only government official in the news. A close aide to George Bush was arrested for stealing and shoplifting. So our stores are not safe, from our own government's employees.

If you don't believe me, read the latest news item. A senior official of the Bush government's department of homeland security was just arrested trying to seduce and rape what he thought was a fourteen year old girl. Apparently, not only is our homeland not safe from Bin Laden, our kids are not safe from our own department of homeland security.

So, tell me, how safe are you feeling?

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Weakly Courting Supreme Disaster

More than 20 years ago, when I was living in Lahore, Pakistan and before I had been to the USA I remember taking a few months long course at the American Center there. It was a great introduction to the history of this great nation, and what makes the US government one of the most stable and democratic in all of history.

I remember being educated on how the balance of powers between the President, Congress and the Supreme Court ensured no government could usurp the rights of the people, no power hungry and corrupt president could become dictator, no laws could be made by a majority to take away the basic rights enshrined in the American Constitution.

I even remember looking around me and wondering, how come we had the same three bodies in Pakistan, yet had a US-backed dictator General Zia abrogating the constitution, handpicking Supreme Court judges and basically selecting a Parliament to rubber stamp everything he wanted. The only explanation I found was that Pakistanis had become disinterested in the importance of democracy and their rights. Everyone was basically caving in to let an illegal dictator claim to be a legal head of state. The judges on the court just wanted to live in nice homes, the members of parliament merely wanted to get government contracts & kickbacks and no one wanted to stand up for what was right.

What ensured America's supremacy as a democracy was that the Congress and the Supreme Courts made sure that they stood up to the White House to ensure that no man, no matter how great, could ever even think about acting as, much less being, a dictator. But that history course I took was 20 years ago.

News items I have seen in just the last few hours have me wondering if we Americans, as a nation, have already embarked on the path to becoming ruled by a dictatorship. We are being ruled by power hungry people with a population least bothered by the future of democracy. We have corrupt politicians and politically motivated judges letting a man hardly qualified to be President now become a dictator, by claiming some sort of never ending war as his justification - with no one able to question his stupidity or bad decisions or lies or incompetence.

You already know the case of a guy named Jose Padilla. This is that lame ex-gang member who is supposed to have been half a screwdriver turn away from blasting us all with a dirty bomb.

That was three years ago. He was kept in a military jail for that time and was not even charged with a crime or given the rights he has an American citizen. When his case was appealed to the Supreme Court, the Bush government immediately played some legal games and pulled him out of the military justice system and finally put him into the civilian courts while also claiming that the Supreme Court does NOT have the authority to judge the actions of the government relating to such military tribunals.

The Supreme Court had an opportunity to put a stop to this undeniable march towards dictatorship that our government has embarked upon. It had the opportunity to ensure that this and future governments would always remember that what rights we have, as Americans, cannot be taken away by any President, any White House, any government.

But, with a 6 to 3 margin, the Supreme Court sold us out today and decided not to hear whether it has jurisdiction on what the government does in cases like this. Whatever the merits of Padilla's case, the Supreme Court just weakened its own standing as one of the three pillars that ensures a strong democracy in our country. And, it weakened you, and me, as Americans. Basically, now, anyone in government can arrest any one of us, and throw us in a brig for YEARS, without charging a crime or giving us our rights as Americans.

Sure, some will foolishly disagree with this and say that "Oh, it won't happen to ordinary people..." That is NOT the point. The point of many of our fundamental rights being enshrined in the Constitution and Bill of Rights are not that someone did something specific but to ensure that no one, no President, no government, no Congress, COULD take away our rights IF it wanted.

We have the Bill of Rights not because someone in government took specific illegal action against you or me, but to ensure that no one CAN. We have the Supreme Court to ensure that the law was upheld. But, the current Supreme Court, instead of taking action, instead of ensuring it acted as the third pillar of balance in our system of government, basically deferred to a dictatorial, tyrannical system of government.

My fellow Americans, This is how tyrannies take shape. We have begun our downward slide. Yet, look around you.

Most of our fellow citizens, fellow Americans, will completely remember what the judges on American Idol said, but will not know one word about what the Supreme Court judges said, on a judgement day for American Ideals that is upon us... How sad.

If you think I am exaggerating, think about another small news item I came across today. According to media reports a news producer at NBC has been disciplined, and sent on leave, because someone leaked out an email he wrote in 2004, two years ago saying George W. Bush makes him want to puke.

Yes, people, we have private sector companies now realizing it is in their interest to send out a message.... do NOT say anything bad about our President.

Welcome to the start of a tyranny..... This is how things are done in Cuba and Syria, in North Korea and Iran.... everyone knows that saying anything bad about the exalted supreme Idiotollah™ leader will be a crime or can get you fired.

Long Live Democracy, long live free speech.... you will be missed.

Yes, we all want to live in safety, but do we want to live as slaves living safe lives, or do we want to live as free men and women, free citizens of the United States, with rights to live and speak as we please?

Saudi Arabia is actually one of the safest places in the world. There is hardly any crime.

North Korea is another place, that has not had any terror attacks.

Would you, my fellow Americans, give up your rights to speak, to express opinions, to have private intimate conversations on the telephone, to criticize the government, to say that the President is an idiot or a Senator is a crook, to BE what you want to be, to SAY what you want to say, to LIVE how you want to live, to SEE who you want to see, to GO where you want to go, to LOVE who you want to love..... and move to live under the safety of the rulers of North Korea or Saudi Arabia?

I didn't think so.

That is why it is important for you and me to sit up and take notice.

It is OUR rights, not the rights of low-life crooks like Jose Padilla, it is OUR privacy, not the privacy of AlQaeda agents, it is OUR freedom of speech not that of Bin Laden that are under attack... And it is not under attack from Bin Laden or Fidel Castro or AlQaeda or North Korea or the Taliban. It is under attack from our own government in Washington, DC, with our Congress looking on and our Supreme Court bending to the wills of a dictatorial White House.

Are we just going to sit back, watching LOST and DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES on TV, voting for American Idol, while our rights are lost, our situation gets more desperate and our ideals are destroyed?

I hope not.