(Single Worst) Film Of The Year Award! The Surfer - IMRAN®

(Single Worst) Film Of The Year Award! The Surfer -  IMRAN® 

I believe you’ll enjoy this review more than the single worst movie of the year, The Surfer. 😊

The long haul after meetings in Tallahassee driving to my home in Apollo Beach, Florida was bad enough—a 5 to 6-hour drive stretched longer by Friday rush hour, heavy rain, and a mysterious accident on I-75. But nothing could prepare me for the real wreck ahead.  

After two agonizing hours, I had barely crawled two miles through what was shaping up to be a 15-mile traffic disaster. Staring down the prospect of creeping forward at a soul-crushing 1 mph for who knows how much longer, I spotted an AMC theater near the next exit. An escape. Or so I thought.  

In hindsight, I should have stayed in my car, because I was about to make a worse choice than all the drivers stuck in lane roulette.  

With a Stubs membership to justify and nothing but time to kill, I decided to see whichever movie was starting next.  

Bad luck. Terrible timing. The only thing playing? The Surfer.  

I hesitated. Nicolas Cage’s “acting” and “massive talent” have never convinced me, especially in his recent era of terrible script choices and unhinged performances. Still, the 6.5 IMDb rating—while suspicious—gave me just enough false hope.  

(And to the people who rated this movie that high: Really?!)  

I barely settled into my seat before the film began.  

Ten minutes in, I checked my watch. Surely, this was going to get better?  

Nope.  

What followed was a drivel-filled disaster—a massive (no talent) jumble of contrived characters, recycled clichés, predictable "twists," melodramatic music in overdrive, and a total lack of logic.  

Sitting in that theater, I realized something awful: Even the traffic jam I had abandoned had more intrigue, suspense, and adventure than this movie. The drivers trapped around me had more depth and development than any character on screen. The maneuvering to edge forward in gridlock was more captivating than any supposed tension The Surfer tried—and failed—to create.  

Finally, mercifully, it ended.  

An easy 1-star out of 10.  

Frankly, even sitting motionless on I-75 would’ve been a better experience, featuring better drama, a more immersive soundscape, and fewer crimes against storytelling.  

And if you only skim the surface while surfing online, my review is more engaging than the script of The Surfer.  

I promise, I’m not bragging—the bad puns practically wrote themselves.  

Unlike the movie, which should have never been written at all.  

Pass on this film. You’re welcome.  

© 2025 IMRAN® 

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